One of the ways I can tell my life is either all drive and career or careering and no driver.
The Sock Scale:
1. Children are wearing matching socks, clean = Work/life balance is dandy. Have recently re-watched saved episodes of ‘Living with the Amish.’ After sock pairing is finished, will be canning fruit and milking a goat.
2. Socks not matching, but from the same packet, bought on same day = OK, the socks are in a state of colour reversal – but they were made by the same sock designer. All the clothes in McCook Villas are clean. They’re in the airing cupboard, in a towel-peaked pile. Time for sock jenga.
3. Not matching, were bought on the same day = The five or so deadlines for this month expire in three minutes. All car journeys are calculated at personal best times. Am at least eight minutes late for all appointments.
4. Socks not matching, but both cotton. = The humous is fizzy. The bagged lettuce is damp seaweed. The bills are being used as coasters. There is a box with 200 cowboy hats in one corner and a bag of wool in another.
5. One kilt sock, one pop sock = It’s as bad as it gets.
Right now, I’m at a level three. It could be, should be, may still be worse.
When I started Tiny Chapters, I did it so I could fail an Open University course in style. Now that Tiny Chapters is going into print with the wonderful publisher LimeHouse Books, I’ve chosen this moment to start my Early Years Steiner Teacher training. Of course, as far as First World Issues go, I’m as lucky as a Mouse on Cheese Island but it is a bit of a dichotomy that I’m selling a book about dissolute, self-obsessed animal killer, while trying to channel earthy wisdom (I am making a felt broach while typing this). I’ve decided there are lots of sides to everyone – my sides are just a bit more….spaced out.
The new version of TCOTR is having a thorough re-write and a new title. Limehouse is launching the book on 22nd May – there will be a launch in London. Everyone is invited….
I haven’t started the next book because it still needs more body. If I start it now, it’ll be as bland as a troublesome second album. I’m hooking and catching ideas – it’s a big ol’ trawl. Everything I need for the next book, and for this book and for everything in life is out there. I just need to keep hooking …and pairing socks.